F.O.M.O
Life often feels too big for us to manage, overwhelming in its sheer scope, yet amidst all of this, we still find room for F.O.M.O.—the "fear of missing out." Most of us are familiar with this term. I’ve personally gone to events when I was too tired or unwell to attend, pushed myself to hang out even when I couldn’t afford it, and bought clothes because they were labeled “on trend” by online influencers—all in a relentless attempt to avoid missing out. I know I’m not alone; many people will admit, “I don’t really want to go, but I’m afraid I’ll miss out.” We don’t want to be out of the loop—I don’t want to be out of the loop—and even if we can’t quite define what the “loop” is, we still strive to be in it. If you’re anything like me, you feel the same way.
F.O.M.O. extends far beyond parties and social events; it permeates every area of life. When you’re 16, your greatest fear might be missing a party, but at 18 or 19, it’s not getting into the right university—or getting in at all. After college, the concern shifts to landing the perfect internship, then the right job or career. As we continue, more expectations get added: the ideal friends, the quintessential spouse, children, house, car—the list keeps growing, seemingly without end.
The things we fear missing out on aren’t inherently bad. Socializing with friends is good, going to college is beneficial, securing a job and finding success is amazing, and romantic relationships can be fulfilling. But the problem starts when we elevate these pursuits above their rightful place. I’ve fallen into the trap of putting first what should have been second or third, or perhaps even last. We burden houses, cars, careers, and relationships with the responsibility of shaping our identity, making us happy, and sustaining our happiness. This is the dream we’ve been sold—by television, our parents, and society at large.
Regardless of what stage of life we’re in, life remains big, and we can barely hold it in our hands. Yet, we still manage to make room for F.O.M.O., somehow convinced that whatever lies on the other side is better. We place unrealistic expectations on that new car, relationship, or achievement, hoping they will bring fulfillment or fill a void. But in truth, no promises have been made, and no guarantees exist. The reality is that F.O.M.O. is inescapable—there will always be a newer iPhone, a nicer house, a better car, or a life that appears more desirable. There will always be something that makes us feel like we’re missing out.
What Should We Do About F.O.M.O.?
If we can’t completely rid ourselves of F.O.M.O., how do we cope? Here are some steps that can help manage it:
1. Examine the Source of Your F.O.M.O.
Ask yourself why you fear missing out on certain things. Have you been conditioned to think this way? Are these things truly important to you, and if so, why? Consider what is shaping your desires. Romans 12:2 advises us, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will." As followers of Christ, we should seek to align our desires with God’s will. What matters to us should reflect what matters to Him, and His Word should shape our thinking and, consequently, our desires.
2. Remember That Christ Wants to Be Your Greatest Joy
Jesus desires that our greatest longing be for Him. He wants us to delight in Him above all else. Psalm 37:4 reminds us, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires." This doesn’t mean that we will always get what we want, but that when we delight in God, our desires will begin to align with His will. When we are in Christ, we already have our greatest need met. Even when it feels like we’re missing out on some worldly opportunity, we must remember that we have the most valuable treasure: a relationship with Him.
3. Trust That God Cares for Your Needs
It’s natural to worry about missing out on the things that seem to shape a successful life. But Jesus encourages us to trust in God’s provision for our physical needs. In Matthew 6:26, He says, "Consider the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?" If God cares enough to provide for the sparrows, how much more does He care for you? When we truly grasp this, we can release the anxiety that comes from F.O.M.O. and trust that God will provide for us in His perfect timing and way.
4. Avoid Placing Unfair Expectations on People and Things
It’s unrealistic to assume that fulfillment can be found solely in possessions or relationships. When we put the burden of our happiness and identity on external things or people, we set ourselves up for disappointment. These things were never designed to fill the deepest voids in our lives. True contentment comes from understanding who we are in Christ and embracing the purpose He has for us.
Ultimately, F.O.M.O. is a symptom of misplaced priorities and unrealistic expectations. We often allow external influences to dictate what we should want, leading us down a path of constant striving and comparison. But life is about more than checking off accomplishments or acquiring material things. As we confront our fears of missing out, we should shift our focus from pursuing temporary satisfactions to seeking what has eternal value, Jesus.
In Christ, we have everything we truly need. Our identity, fulfillment, and joy are found in Him, not in the fleeting trends or achievements that often preoccupy us. While the world may continue to present endless options that seem better, Christ remains the constant source of satisfaction and purpose. When we delight in Him and trust in His provision, we can experience a peace that no party, promotion, or purchase can provide. Embracing this truth frees us from the relentless cycle of F.O.M.O., allowing us to enjoy the present moment and rest confidently in the life God has uniquely crafted for us.
