Thoughts on denial (Mark 8:34 -Mark 14:26-72)

It is encouraging to see an increasing number of university students who are serious about following Jesus’ call to deny yourself and take up your cross and follow me (Mark 8:34).  This zeal is a good thing but is it matched by the humility that comes from knowing ourselves well?  Are we actually able to deny ourselves the way Jesus calls us to? 

Mark’s gospel may help us re-think ourselves and Jesus.  Like many zealous people today, the Apostle Peter, who eye witnessed Jesus, was confident in his own sense of his commitment to Jesus.  After the Last Supper where Jesus warned that one of the disciples (Judas) would betray him, Jesus foretold (Mark 14:27) that you [the disciples] will all fall away, just as Scripture foretold – “I [God] will strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered.”  In response, Peter with great zeal and bravado pledged his allegiance to Jesus.  Even after Jesus said, nope, you will deny (same word as Mark 8:34) me three times, Peter responded even more strongly, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.”   And all the disciples said the same (Mark 14:31).

You probably know what happens.  The consistently calm, storm-rebuking Saviour is suddenly agonized in his soul as he contemplates drinking the cup of God’s wrath on behalf of the sins of his people.  Meanwhile, the disciples cannot stay awake to pray with him even one hour.  Once Judas and the mob arrive to arrest Jesus, Peter first zealously fights back (Mark 11:47).  But as soon as the disciples realize that Jesus is accepting his arrest, they all flee, Peter included.  

We get a glimmer of hope in Mark 14:54 – perhaps Peter will stay loyal to Jesus?  He follows him into the courtyard of the high priest but the details are telling -- he followed him “at a distance.”  Mark then contrasts Jesus, who boldly confesses the truth about himself while on trial (14:62) with Peter who, when charged by a mere servant girl of being one of Jesus’ followers, denied Jesus – three times -- just as Jesus foretold (14:71-72).  Peter broke down in tears.

How does this story instruct us today?  Is the message that we must do better than Peter?  No. After all, that would leave us trusting in our own commitment to Jesus, just like Peter did in 14:29, 31.  No, the message is much more profound and powerful.  Jesus knew that Peter, who is called to deny himself, would instead deny Jesus.   He foretold it.  He was willing to die anyway.  More than that, this is precisely the reason he came to earth – to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45) – to alone bear the judgment we deserve for denying him.  

We may deny Jesus in more subtle ways – being ashamed to talk about Jesus to classmates or distancing ourselves from Jesus in conversation with unbelievers or living for self – but whatever the exact form it takes, we have all denied Jesus instead of denying ourselves, even as Christians.  Jesus knew we would do that.  He gave up himself for people like us, knowing what we are like.

Is self-denial, which is at the heart of Christianity, possible?  Yes, to some degree.  But not until  we first realize that self-denial is impossible.  We don’t have it in us.  It is as we trust Jesus who gave up himself for selfish, cowardly, over-confident people like us and rose from the dead, that we can start to truly follow him, empowered by the Spirit who raised him from the grave.