Singleness
What the Bible tells us about Singleness
The Bible gives us the picture that we are made to live in loving relationships. Love and marriage were invited by God as (Gen. 2:18) tells us, “Then God said. It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him”.
It is a good thing to desire marriage but singleness is also good as Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:8 “ To the unmarried and fellow widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am” Being single is a gift in verse 40 as he says marriage not singleness brings many troubles in verse 28. But we tend to regard singleness as an unwanted gift.
1 Corinthians 7:17–24 gives us a principle: we are to be content with the position we were in when the Lord called us. If He called you while you were single, be content in that. That is the position the Lord has called you to be in at that moment.
This does not mean that you will remain in this position forever—you may move from it, meet someone, and get married. But for now, in your current season of singleness, serve God faithfully and be content with where you are. There is nothing wrong with being single; in fact, God calls it a gift (1 Corinthians 7:7).
Things that are not true about singleness
1. If you are single God is punishing you for your sins
1. “If you are single, God is punishing you for your sins.”
This way of thinking often leads to shame, self-pity, or even anger toward God. But none of these responses are helpful or true. Singleness is not a sin, nor is marriage a reward. Both are gifts from God, and neither is a reflection of your worth or your standing with Him.
If you have received Christ, then you can be confident that God is not punishing you—Jesus has already taken the full punishment for your sins on the cross. Therefore, singleness is not a punishment; it is a purposeful gift from a loving God.
2. If you are single you are incomplete
One usually feels helpless and thinks that they are missing the best years of their lives because they are unmarried. Even though in a sense you won't experience some aspects of life like being a parent this does not mean that you are missing the best years of your life or that you do not have a purpose “ For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). The idea that you are incomplete when you are single is not a Biblical one as we do not find our completeness in marriage or a relationship as our identity is in Christ.
3. You are a reject and not worthy of anyone who would treat you well
One often feels self-pity, self-rejection, and low self-esteem and you feel that God made a mistake when he made you. You usually allow people to abuse you and take advantage of you. You need to remember one think who you are in Christ and it's not about your marital status. You are loved and wonderfully made and we should not find our worth in a relationship.
Let’s look at some of the good reasons why one might choose not to date for a temporal season even if the opportunities might present them and here they are.
Good reasons that encourage Singleness
• When you are taking a break to heal your heart and work on some of your baggage.
This is a good time to take a break and focus on healing as you carry hurt from previous relationships and need time to reflect and seek the Lord so that he may help you in your healing process. This might be a good time to seek counselling, pastoral care and for someone to walk with you as you heal. A relationship is most often not a good thing to start even if the opportunity presents itself let the interested person know this and if they are committed to being with you, they will wait for you till you are ready. Keep in mind that they may also choose to not wait for you and possibly pursue another which is fine.
• You are simply not interested in the person
I have noticed especially amongst Christians there is this pressure that you must agree to date or marry a person because you are both Christians and go to the same church. It is not always the case as God has made us different and sometimes you don’t have an interest in the person,
To the ladies you don’t need to have an interest in someone just because they ask you out, it is okay to refuse their proposal simply because you have no interest in them even if they are a good person.
To the gentlemen don’t feel the pressure to ask a lady out because of pressure from friends, family, or the church or that lady likes you. Do not ask her out if you don’t see her that way. Maybe in times for both parties’ interest may change and you might develop a liking for each other this is also fine.
• You’re not dating because you feel God has called you to be single either temporarily or forever due to personal reason or mission
You should not want to be single for selfish reasons like you don’t want anyone in your space or that you don’t want to share money or material things, and you don’t want to be accountable to another person. This should never be a reason to be single as it is very selfish.
You might want to be single as maybe you feel that you are called into missionary work, and you feel that if you get married or be in a relationship it will stand in the way of this. This might be temporary or maybe permanent. This doesn’t mean that you can't date or get married and go on a mission for God of course not but sometimes it is wise to not do it as it complicates things as you and your potential spouse might not see eye to eye and because of work, school and family commitment they might not be able to join you in your mission with God.
Use your singleness to serve God faithfully and not for selfish reasons as we see the examples of Jesus and the Apostle Paul who were single and how they used their singleness to serve God and the church.
Singleness is a great place to be it is not a curse and use it to the max to serve Christ as you 1 Corinthians 7:32 tells us that you are only anxious about the things of God and not about family affairs. Use this time to serve God and the church faithfully.
