Thoughts and Reflections
I don’t know about you, but I, for one, am glad that the university schedule will be starting soon. The summer break is a difficult time for me—my wife can attest to this! I get in a funk and struggle to stay motivated. This tends to happen from mid-November to mid-January. Now, that might seem weird for someone who is not a student. But when much of my time during the year is spent on campus with students, not being able to do that seems like I am not fulfilling God’s purpose for being in Durban. As things slow down, I am tempted to try to fill the time with doing things—or doing nothing. Yet, God is patient with me. He is teaching me how to slow down and be productive at the same time. I am learning that NOT doing is important—simply enjoying days without deadlines and schedules. And that slowing down is important for self-reflection and evaluation. However, I must confess that I am looking forward to the start of the campus year and being back on the UKZN campuses.
Maybe you feel similarly and are excited for a new year to begin…or maybe you’re dreading coming back to campus. Either way, let me share some thoughts and reflections from the past few months.
1. The way I feel is not the foundation of my relationship with Jesus—it is the finished work of the cross that provides the foundation. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:11 that Jesus, and only Jesus, is the foundation of our salvation. As I mentioned earlier, my feelings can be all over the place—happy, sad, melancholy, despondent, hopeful—but none of those feelings can change the hope I have in what Jesus accomplished on the cross for me and all who believe in Him.
2. Being busy is not the same as being productive—kingdom work is not measured in how much I am doing. When things slow down, I think God needs me to do more for his plans and purposes to be carried out. Yet I have found that when the work itself becomes my focus, it draws my attention away from the reason for the work—Jesus Christ. The work, and not the relationship, becomes the main thing. And for me, that tends to lead quickly to pride if things go well—or depression if they do not. Additionally, I can allow busyness to crowd out the kingdom work. In my relationship with Jesus, this looks like less time in prayer, less time in the Word, and less time in reflection on Scripture—and more time doing things just to say I did them, more time staying busy but without the accompanying spiritual growth. And in ministry, this often looks like studying or preparing materials when I should be spending time with my family. Why? Because pride comes sneaking in and I want to look good in front of others—unfortunately that can come at the expense of family. So, in this tension of wanting to do well, I am learning to recognize when I am working for myself and when I am working for the Lord.
3. Time away is not the same as time wasted—efficiency can prevent effectiveness. In attempting to be efficient, I often miss the real important things. I begin to get restless when conversations take longer than I think they should—because I have things to do! I stop listening to the other person and simply try to end the conversation as soon as I can. I was challenged on this during our reading of Matt Smethurst’s book “Before You Share Your Faith.” He reminded us of how important listening to someone is—that for many people being listened to is akin to being loved. And so I aim to be more aware of listening to understand others instead of as a springboard for my own thoughts to be shared. Thankfully, the Lord is reminding me that people are much more important than projects—and that people are NOT projects.
4. Growth requires cycles of stress and rest—God is the one who never sleeps or slumbers, not me. In Psalm 121:1-4, the psalmist reflects on looking to the Lord for help and the fact that He never rests. For many of us, this reminder is especially pertinent. We tend to think that we are like the Energizer Bunny…able to just keep on going. Yet, the psalmist reminds us that the Lord is the one who is always watching, always aware, never resting—and we are not God. We need rest. For me, it is a reminder of my finite nature. I am not invincible, and I ignore the call to rest at my own peril. Now, this is not a license for laziness. Instead, it is a reminder that I cannot do it all and God is not expecting me to do it all.
5. Slowing down is necessary to allow for reflection and recalibration—meditating on the truths of God moves the effect from my head to my heart. It will also reveal areas where I have neglected those truths. This is perhaps the most uncomfortable part of the slow season. When things are busy, I spend much less time in reflection. It is uncomfortable to sit and think about the areas where I am lacking or failing to reflect the love of Jesus. Much easier and less awkward to stay busy (see point 2!). However, in reflection during the past couple months, I find that my desire for the Lord tends to cool during busy times. I start to do it on my own strength. And eventually I get worn down, impatient, and frustrated. So, for me, the past six weeks have been a beautiful, sweet time of recalibration and renewal. God is stirring my heart and reminding me of just how wonderful and beautiful He is. I pray that you find Him doing the same for you this year.
