My plans and will vs God’s plans and will for my life
I have always been a planner, doing certain things at certain times really work for me, from planning my meals to planning my day. I have recently discovered that failing to plan for my day the day before is really planning to fail. Recently I went to work without my laptop and I had been busy that I totally forgot to think about and write down what I was going to do at work the following day, (outside of the usual), which is what I normally do. When I realised at work that I needed a laptop and I had not brought it to work, my day was almost utterly ruined. I should add that I kept beating myself up for failing to plan the day before. “See, that’s why planning the day before is important”, I thought as I conversed with myself.
I discovered that I didn’t like it when I don’t have a plan in place, when my plans change or if I have to do something outside of my plans. To put it plainly, I’m somewhat inflexible and I’m trying to work on that. A few people can attest to my displeasure if I have to change my plans and rearrange my day after carefully planning for it the day before. It’s such an inconvenience for me. I also noticed, as I was reflecting and praying that I have plans about my life, I want to see myself in a certain place at a certain time and have certain things at a certain period, be somewhere even with my life, forgetting that “we make plans, but God has the final say” (Proverbs 16:1-9).
Recently I also observed that in my prayers, I didn’t have the attitude that Jesus had in his prayers in the mountain of Getsemane, which was also his lifestyle as he only wanted to do the will of his father. “Not my will, but yours” (Mark 14:36; Luke 22:42). That was literally my attitude, or lack thereof. You want to know why? Because I was afraid the will and plan of God might not be my will and plan. The will of God is hard to comprehend at times. Sometimes I do pray the words but it will only be lip service and my heart would be clinging to what I desire. I find myself relating with “it’s a hard saying” like the disciples once responded to Jesus on a discussion about marriage and divorce. Sometimes it’s in situations that are in grey areas, and though biblical principles are there, I’d still want to do my own thing or react in my own way.
My prayer has been, Lord, show me my sins so that I can confess them and show me areas where I need improvement in my Christian life and I know I need to improve by God’s grace and to be conformed to Jesus Christ. It is what I aim to attain each and every day as I manoeuvre life daily. I have been drawn to Jesus’ prayer “not my will, but yours”
As I prayed and reflected, it suddenly dawned on me that the will of God has been and surpassing my will even though I was not voluntarily yielding to it. I love to plan events in my life, and when they don’t materialize, I now understand that the will of God for my life has materialized and I find joy in that, because seeing the will of God prevailing and unfolding, I get to understand why certain things had to be the way that they are. Understanding this truth is shaping me every day. Even if things are not going my way, I look forward to a coming time where I will understand why things happened the way they happened. Sometimes the merciful God shows me and make me understand. I also know that there are things that I will not understand in this side of glory, I’ll be pondering to understand till I’m on the other side where all things will be made clear and the fullness of things will be attained.
Working in student ministry has taught me a thing or two about my plans and God’s plans. I believe God has used that as a tool to shape me because campus ministry can be so unpredictable. Previously I would be greatly encouraged if “my plan” or the schedule worked and greatly discouraged if ministry didn’t go as planned if I stick to my plans and not rely and pray for God’s will and plan to prevail. Now whether ministry is encouraging or discouraging, I know God’s will prevailed and I can wake up the following day looking forward to seeing the Lord’s will and work again. “Your will and not mine” is not a catch phrase in my prayers anymore but it is my prayer.
Now as I go about making plans whether for my day, my year, my life and my work, I know that I should indeed plan but leave a very big space for God’s will and plan(s) to prevail. Leaning on his leading more than my plans in black and white and being flexible. Meditating on these words as I go by my everyday routine and plans.
“not my will, but yours” (Mark 14:36; Luke 22:42).
“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established” (Proverbs 16:3)
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21)
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Mathew 6:33)
