Anger: A Personal Reflection
My son (who is a four-and-a-half year old ) and I were talking the other day. He had just had a bit of a tantrum and thrown something in his anger. As we talked about why throwing things when we are angry is not a good idea, I shared a story with him from my childhood—when I kicked a hole in the wall out of anger. I was attempting to help him see that doing things out of anger—like throwing toys or kicking things—can result in unforeseen consequences. Now, I can look back on my 12-year old self and laugh a bit, but in the moment, I was quite startled by the effect my foot had on the drywall in our house. In reflecting on this teaching moment with my son, I realized that I often justify my moments of anger as an adult in two ways. First, by minimizing my anger—pretending that the moment of anger was not that big of a deal because it happened quickly or did not last for very long. And second, by pointing to Jesus as an example of righteous anger—Jesus got angry, therefore I can get angry. I want to take a few moments to unpack two questions that address these justifications and then look at what the Bible tells us about anger.
Am I Too Quick To Become Angry?
Unfortunately, the answer to this question is often “Yes.” I am quickly angered. This is often the result of road construction and driving in South Africa. I have to ask myself the question: Where does that anger come from? I wish there was some super spiritual response, but the reality is that I get angry because I am a rule-follower. Basically, I am like the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). I see other drivers disregarding the rules of the road and I want to do that, too—but I do not want to break the rules so blatantly. So, I get angry at the taxi drivers, and I justify my anger by telling myself that I just want them to heed the rules of the road. However, the reality is that I am angry about the perceived freedom they display in taking no notice of traffic rules. This is just one example and I could give several others. But, I think you get the point—I am too quick to become angry.
Am I Angry About The Right Things?
I used the example of Jesus clearing the money-changers from the temple (Matthew 21:12-13) as a way of justifying my own anger. Unfortunately, this is a rather flippant use of the example Jesus provides for us of righteous anger. When I evaluate my motives and reasons for being angry, I often must admit that my anger comes from a place of selfishness, not from a place of good motives—I am angry because someone or something caused an inconvenience to me. And so, my answer to this question is often “No, I am not angry about the right things.” This, then, leads us towards a final question.
When Should I Be Angry?
To answer this question, we will first need to lay out a bit of groundwork. Anger is a well-discussed topic in the Bible. A quick reference search of the ESV Bible shows 272 results for the word “anger” alone. A cursory examination of these references leads to a few conclusions. First, anger is not a new emotion—Genesis 4 tells us that Cain is angry when his offering is not accepted by the Lord. Cain’s anger eventually leads to him murdering his brother, Abel. We see that anger rooted in selfishness leads us to lash out at others and blame them for our own failings. Second, anger is not necessarily sinful. Throughout the Old Testament, there is example after example of the Lord becoming angry—often with His chosen people, the Israelites. Over and over, the actions of the Hebrew people bring the Lord to anger. And looking closely at these examples, it is evident that God is angry about the sin of the people and their lack of trust in Him. God’s anger is justified because sin breaks their covenant with Him and leads to many harmful outcomes. Third, how we handle our anger reflects on our maturity as a Christian. Proverbs speaks about being slow to anger. (14:29; 15:18; 16:32; 19:11) The one who is slow to anger is praised as having “great understanding” and being “better than the mighty.” The New Testament writers speak about anger as something to be “put away.” (Colossians 3:8) It is often listed with other sins that should be avoided. James writes “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (1:19-20) Yet, Paul writes that we should “be angry and yet not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26) How to make sense of this apparent inconsistency? It seems that the central theme here is that anger should be dealt with quickly, before it leads us into sin. Even if the anger is right—think about someone escaping justice for some horrific crime—dwelling on and feeding into that anger will lead us towards sin. The Bible speaks both to God’s righteous anger and to the danger of sin that anger presents to mankind. And this leads back to the question: When should I be angry? The short answer is—I should be angry about the things that also anger God. Things like injustice, oppression of the poor and the innocent, mistreatment of the weak in society should all cause me to be angry. Yet, anger should lead to action, but not vengeance. Anger should lead me to speak out against injustice, to stand up for the poor and innocent, and to protect the weak. The challenge is to do this without falling into sin myself. On our own, this is an impossible task. Yet, through the life-changing power of the gospel and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, Christians can experience righteous anger, leading to right action. Thus, they can be angry and not sin.
If you, like me, struggle with anger, I want to encourage you to deal with anger properly. Rather than trying to suppress or ignore your anger, bring those moments to God. Express your emotions to Him. Let Him know why you are angry. Admit when your anger leads you to sin—ask God and others for forgiveness. And ask Him to give you wisdom in responding to each situation. You won’t always get it right, but God is patient and will see us through. “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)
