If marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman, then why is there so much polygamy in the Bible?

Polygamy is where a man has more than one wife at a time. The practise is current in parts of Africa. For instance, I read an article recently, pictured in the thumb image, talking about 5 of the most prominent polygamous men in South Africa.  

At times people defend polygamy as providing protection or care for women – especially in economically challenged places. And for some men it equates to a show of their power or status. Now isn’t the time to discuss those positions and others. Instead, this question carries our focus: if marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman (as Christians often say), then why is there so much polygamy in the Bible? 

How we read the Bible: Prescriptive versus Descriptive

Let me make a main point here that can help us in how we read the Bible.

• Sometimes God says in the Bible: ‘THIS is good’, or ‘THIS is how you should do things’.

In other words, it is PRESCRIPTIVE. Think a doctor who gives you a prescription saying: ‘Take these pills this many times, and for this many days – you must have these, you need it.’

So, there are parts of the Bible where God is prescriptive. He’s saying we must listen or follow or believe or act or desire in a certain way.

• On the other hand, sometimes things are simply in the Bible because it records how or what people did.

In other words, it is DESCRIPTIVE. The Bible here simply details how people did or are doing things. It’s not saying: ‘do it this way’. Instead it’s saying: ‘people did things this way.’ And there are many instances of this in the Bible – from the mundane to the murderous.  

Where does Polygamy fit in?

I would contend that the examples of polygamy in the Bible match the last category: they are examples of what went down (descriptive), not necessarily of how it should be (prescriptive). How do we know that’s the case? Let me present two points:

1.     God in the Bible clearly PRESCRIBES what marriage should be like.

From Genesis 1 and 2, and then picked up by Jesus in passages like Mark 10, Matthew 19, and Matthew 5, God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman. That’s how God created it. And that’s how God prescribes what marriage is and is to be.

Furthermore, bigger picture in God’s eyes is that the relationship between a husband and a wife points to a greater reality (Eph 5:22-33). In other words, as the wife respects her husband, and as the husband loves and serves his wife, this is to be a small snapshot of the larger and more ultimate reality where Jesus loves his people, who are called his bride. At this point don’t be confused by the fact that in that picture Jesus’ bride is made up of many people – that’s not setting the scene for polygamy. No, it’s a picture, a sign. The bride is still one – even if made up of many people.

Marriage is between one man and one woman. And as all husbands know, no matter how wonderful your spouse is, marriage while a gift, is hard work. It’s tough enough to love and serve one wife as Christ loved the church, never mind multiple wives – certainly not in a way that really points to Jesus, and God’s design of marriage.

So, the first point: God is clear in his prescription regarding marriage.

2.     The examples of polygamy in the Bible DESCRIBE something not ideal.

The first mention of a man with more than one wife comes with Lamech in Genesis 4. Before him we’ve already had Cain murdering Abel. And by the time we get to Lamech with his two wives and desire to prove that he’s worse (“badder”) than bad (read Gen 4:23-24), it’s clear that things have escalated, and moved very far from how life in the Garden was to be.

And as we continue in the Scriptures, we discover several examples of men having multiple wives. And, here’s a point to underline, none of them go, or end well. The list of prominent polygamous men in the Bible includes for instance:

• Abraham

Abraham is promised that from him and his wife Sarah will come a great nation. But both of them are very old and eventually Sarah, in a faithless move, gives her servant Hagar to Abraham as both a concubine (someone to sleep with) and also as a kind of second-level wife (uMamncane).[1]

And for those of you who know the story, things fall apart. Especially for poor Hagar - horribly mistreated by both the jealous Sarah, and by Abraham who fails to love her.

• Solomon

David may have had his dozens of wives and concubines (2 Sam 3:1-5 plus Michal and Bathsheba; 5:13, 15:16), but Solomon had his 700 wives, and 300 hundred concubines (1 Kings 11:3).

Now let’s be honest: many guys might lust after that kind of situation. But again, how did it end? We’re told that those women led one of the greatest kings of Israel to idolatry. His heart went after other gods – the gods of his wives.

But God through Moses had already warned in Deuteronomy 17:17 that any king of Israel must not acquire many wives for himself. Why? So that his heart won’t go astray. But with Solomon? Instead of having one wife who Solomon could help point to the one true God, Solomon’s many wives drew his heart to many false gods. 

Many examples, and yet…

Lamech, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Solomon - there are many examples. And all of them are far from ideal, and instead bring pain and suffering and hardship. Of course, that’s not to say that God can’t work through the mess, or in many of the instances, through his messy people! The opposite is true: he keeps prescribing his grace despite what’s described.

But yes, the descriptions of polygamy in the Bible are there are examples of how foolish and sinful people can be – they describe that. And perhaps often and more especially they describe how foolish and sinful men (like me) can be.

Again though, the reminder is that God can overcome even our sin and folly. And he has worked in Jesus (the groom) to create a people (a bride) set apart to himself who know and follow him and his good ways. Leading, we pray, to transformed men and women in Christ.

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[1] Hagar is a concubine, but in Gen 16 she is also called a wife. Concubine and wife are different Hebrew words. But wife in Hebrew is broad enough to include various versions including a concubine who is considered a kind of second level wife. Abraham after Sarah’s death took another wife – Keturah – who is called both concubine (1 Chron 1:32) and wife (Gen 25:1). So, she was probably similar to Hagar – a type of servant who became a wife. A slave wife if you like (cf. Gal 4:21-31).